Marriage

I want to tell you what I think about marriage. Since I am not a story teller and don’t have much occupation in long lines sentence, this story will come up in simple way. Marriage, I am a married woman and you don't have to believe me because I am saying this not to convince you about anything. Well, people keep saying that I am still as cute as teenager and I look inclusive when they chat with me, people can talk about everything without burden in front of me. Yes, I am. Why not to become an inclusive one while we live in social community? My own privacy is still here, just fine and nothing changes. Marriage is in the same stage about what I previously talk, my marriage and my privacy is still here, inside me and my husband while people are there. It’s one thing.

The other thing is that how I decided to get married. This year, special event was going on when someone recited the sacred sentence which means he changed my status, became a married woman. Perhaps, everything around was different since that time, people say. But what actually happened was that I feel as usual as the previous moment before I got married. I think, it’s because of my perspective about marriage. I decided to get married in order to have a happy and relieved life, with someone I love. Happy, because finally I can be together with him, the one I can’t take my mind off for long stretches of time. Relieved, because finally people and God witnessed us being together. I know, love is poisonous sometimes, it has it’s own concentration. But as Raima said, “love perhaps is similar to taking care of a garden. Hoping that in your garden, a beautiful flower will bloom, a cool breeze will blow in the presence of warm sunlight and occasionally a magical shower.” I am doing in simple way and do not care too much about or afraid of what future is going to be as long as I am doing the right thing, I just need to maintain the feeling, the chemistry, and not the love because the love inside me is just still the same, I fall for him almost everyday and everytime since 5 years ago. It is something beyond our mind, we together still do not know how we can be in love by this way. Especially because since 2008 we did not meet frequently as other lovers do. They say, they cannot do as I do, to live in separated place while being in love with the one. I say, It’s not something to think of, just go along with what we believe and finally we can see that everything is fine here and there, happily.

To get married, in my perspective, is not something that I have to think it over after I met him. In the moment when I decided to know him more and more I thought that I would not end up in hating him or being hearted-far from him. So, I tried to catch him up everytime he runs away, to hug him everytime it feels like we are faraway. I made it. By that way, how can I let him go simply? No, I don’t think so. Since then, I thought that we will get married after all. As of the day and the other days in the past that I will not let anyone or anything in this world become the reason of our separation on purpose. How? Just do the best as I can, believe that miracles happen almost everytime, I create it, he creates it, people do, and universe does?

Technically, it is not simple though, but I give you the big picture of how marriage for me is. Probably we have our own philosophy regarding marriage. As we can see that there are people who decided to make baby without first getting married. They live together until getting old, they finally get married when their child are adulthood already. It is something beyond my mind too because I never think to have long lasting relationship without getting married. Moreover for Javanese, it doesn’t make any sense, at least in my culture. I do not say this to only consider my marriage is a culture-business, neither does it only to abolish any rules. More than those, I decided to get married because I want to perpetuate my relationship with someone I love and perpetuate the love (to all surroundings) I have inside me. Day after day, my marriage story will give new insight for me and I still need to adapt everytime it goes up and down, I suppose. In this one side of walk of life, what a long journey, by the way.