Jumat, 23 Desember 2011

Dari Kampus Sampai Gadjah Mada


tak terasa saat ini saya di kampus termasuk kategori tetua, mahasiswa tingkat akhir.
sejak awal semester 7 lalu aku tidak henti-hentinya berjalan kesana kemari hampir tiap hari mengelilingi kampus.
kayak orang lagi nyari jati-diri aja ya...haha
tak jarang aku melihat adek-adek kelas yang berwajah asing nggak aku kenal kebanyakan, yah walau yang angkatan setahun di bawahku masih agak familiar wajahnya di mataku minimal, karena aku tak hapal nama-nama mereka.
juga kakak-kakak kelas yang kebanyakan (juga) telah memakai baju kerja dan berbatik ria khas mahasiswa profesi.
tiap kali muter-muter kampus atau nongkrong di Unit 4 selalu berjumpa dengan mereka baik yang kukenal maupun yang tidak kukenal.
kalau aku mengenal mereka dan mereka mengenalku, selaluuuu saja aku kebagian giliran menyapa setelah mereka menyapaku duluan.
mengapa yaaahhhh... padahal udah kupersiapkan sapaan manis buat mereka, mungkin aku kurang tanggap suasana... thank you mas mbak sudah bersedia menyapa aku yang ga eksis ini. Hahah
Pintu Harapan

emmm aku orangnya tidak menyukai keramaian. misalnya saja ketika di kampus ada beramai-ramai orang berebut sinyal hotspotan aku langsung saja menuju ke sebuah tempat yang jarang mereka kunjungi.
aku suka menikmati perjalananku dengan dua kaki ini menuju rektorat. gedung unik, klasik, jaman dulu, khas tahun kemerdekaan itu selalu membuatku terpesona.
ketika aku berjalan-jalan di area kampus, selalu saja kubayangkan, ini tanah buat gedung kampus dikasih Sri Sultan Hamengku Buwono IX secara cuma-cuma, dan lalu Presiden Soekarno memilihkan arsitektur paling hebat saat itu.

Oh waow! dan ini kampusku... (berasa pemilik tunggal kampus aja, siapa eloh!)
hmmm... kampus ini telah menghasilkan banyak orang besar di negeri ini.
profesor-profesor itu, apakah mereka benar-benar orang besar.
pikiranku pun beradu, tak semuanya mereka besar, hanya beberapa sajalah... manusia seperti apa sih yang bisa dikatakan besar?
tergantung perspektif kita toh.
meskipun telah aku jumpai orang-orang hebat di kampus ini ( I mean it, they are really great!), pikiranku pun tak kalah mendebat, gimana dengan mereka yang menyetir kampus ini menjadi begitu neo-liberalis cenderung kapitalis?? Oh No! (they, who do it, are not great at all eventhough they are gorgeously brilliant professors!)
itulah yang kupikirkan tentang kampus ini ketika aku tengah mencoba  menyelami hatinya. Ya, kampusku punya hati (setidaknya bagiku).
kampusku membangun kebaikannya, membangun pahalanya sudah 62 tahun sejak ia lahir secara halal di tangan orang-orang hebat dan tersohor di negeri ini.
kampus ini harus mengedepankan nilai, bukan semata barang tau jasa (entah ia milik pemerintah atau BHMN sekali pun).

lalu gimanakah aku? yang hanya setitik noktah di pinggiran sketsa besar kampusku?
entahlah, aku hanya sedang membangun diriku sebaik yang aku bisa.
kampusku adalah sekumpulan proses dan aku menjadi bagian dari outline-nya.
meski kampusku memiliki terminal-terminal kecil, tapi ia tetap saja hanya bagian dari proses dari sesuatu yang lebih besar, yaitu negeri ini, Indonesia Raya.
kampusku tidak boleh melupakan Indonesia-ku, negeri dengan limpahan rahmat dari Tuhan, negeri dengan bangsa yang besar ini.
Gadjah Mada, dari dulu jiwa raganya adalah untuk Indonesia.

Rabu, 21 Desember 2011

Ketika Hujan


Ketika hujan mengerahkan seluruh tenaganya untuk menghantam bumi dengan tetes-tetes airnya yang tajam.
Ketika hujan membiarkan seseorang dalam sendiri, terjebak, dan lapar.
Entahlah, rasanya seperti merindukan hati yang berbunga-bunga...

Rabu, 23 November 2011

You pushed me to bike, finally you succeded
choosing mangoes for the lady :)

baduy bag -- gift for 20th birthday, sweet.. thank you
"really?"

You're futuristic. ILUSM



Jumat, 11 November 2011

Thankyou, Swift!


This week, I was head over heels in love with Taylor Swift. I can be an eager singer of Swift’s song right now, trust me. Haha.. Yea, I thank to Taylor Swift because she could set me free from all burdens I felt all of sudden in many times. Through her story-lined love songs as well as narrative story from all albums, I could say right now that she is one of the best story tellers and one of the best song writers especially in love story. I don’t know, but It seems like she wrote those lyrics spontaneously from her brilliant mind and change into intonation by her lovely guitar of course, successfully. That she could be the best story teller is because of the way of singing, she can sing something up and out but not emotionless. Then you can find long-lasting love for marriage or even kids in her songs. Such a book written by a good story writter who the writter can open her mind, that is also Taylor Swift, either her life experiences or just something in her mind, those can be so well written there.


Taylor swift sang my little heart out each day. Recently I knew that Taylor Swift ever made a poem that 3 parchments length when she was an adolescent. It’s so wow! Then her grandfather taught her how to change it into tone poem through guitar. Aahh… that was my dream that I can play guitar properly or even made some poems into turbulent tones. No, I mean regular tones.


I was a bee in one’s bonnet along the week, so I was trying to go out by singing some of Swift’s songs, terribly though… not as sweet as when Swift singing, haha.. (for the notion, Shima’s nanny can hold out to hear my voice along the week! :p).

I’m telling you that I love Speak Now album the most, in spite of Fearless is a cute one. So I had rather sing “Sparks Fly” than “The Best Day” or I’d rather sing “Dear John” than “Hey Stephen”. Here are the songs I sang repeatedly, over and over again… 
  • Haunted
  • Never Grow Up 
  • Sparks Fly 
  • Ours 
  • Love Story
  • Tear Drops on my Guitar
  • Speak Now
  • Breath (ft. Colbie Cailat)
  •  Today was a Fairytale
  •  Fifteen
  •  Mean
  • Dear John
  • Better Than Revenge
  • Enchanted 
  • Back to December

    Very enjoy listening to those all songs, or if you try to sing them all… even better it would be, as for me it’s not about slacking off, but because this could put my mind to rest.

Never Grow Up - TS


Now, I want to put a cover on ‘Never Grow Up’, one of best Swift's song. Why must Never Grow Up? Firstly, Let’s remember Peter Pan fairytale. A kid who doesn’t want to grow up. Yea, the story revolves around it yet not entirely. When we have our adult age, we want to back to the childhood, and vice versa.


(ah…saya kelaparan, makan dulu yak, habis ini lanjut ke liriknya. Just grab some cookies guys!)


Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

(she tells how adorable a kid is. Kids can make you spoiled by their actions, right? Make us want to give everything they want)

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up


(it’s regretful if those adorable stuffs is being gone when some haven’t been well appreciated yet. All will constantly change as it flows with the time goes by)

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school


(hey guys, please let our mother take care of us. Help our difficulties in every step we take though it’s our responsibility to break every problem arised. When we are growing up, it will be her best moment to witness her kids aged.)

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

(Thinking about future is very tiring and dont want to lose the childhood fast)

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on


(when we’re finally full grown as we feel at that time, we often recall our mind to the glorious moment in childhood. Remembering that will just make you want to go back in time, which everything we had has finally been gone. As west-adults, they are set free and live separated from their parents. Sure, little different impression from us.)

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up


Then it’s just "if youngsters knew and if elders could".

Selasa, 08 November 2011

It's You

saat didera kebingungan gimana cara menjalankan si kehidupan...
aku jadi ingat kemarin aku barusan memintaNya sesuatu, dan kini Dia tlh memberikan padaku secara cuma-cuma,
dengan seperti ini..
bila aku tahu bahasaNya, mungkin Dia juga sedang mengajariku, to be powerful.
Terima kasihku padaMu, dear Allah. 
kini aku bisa menangis dengan penuh syukur.
dengan begini, aku tidak lagi merasakan sakit yang mendera lagi
beginikah rasanya disayang oleh-Mu?
terimakasih atas terkabulnya doaku, masih kuusahakan untuk terus ikhlas.
Engkau pasti tahu, aku pun sangat mencintaiMu, dalam hati ini lebih dari apa pun.  

Minggu, 06 November 2011

Pak Hanafi Bagi Saya


Saat di rumah, terkadang saat waktu maghrib tiba atau isya’ bapak saya memanggil anak-anaknya untuk melaksanakan ibadah berjamaah di rumah. Meskipun tidak sering, karena seringnya tuh bapak saya ibadah berjamah di masjid Serang Kusuma deket makam Serang Kusuma itu. Mungkin karena ingin mendapatkan pahala yang lebih banyak. Karena biasanya beliau memang selalu pergi ke masjid untuk sholat lima waktu, tak pernah absen. Terkadang kalau Mbah Damsiri sedang gerah atau tidak bisa mengimami maka bapak sayalah yang sering dipercaya untuk menggantikannya. Yang saya tahu, bapak saya itu kurang PD, sehingga ketika ada salah seorang yang dianggapnya dapat menggantikannya maka bapak lebih memilih menjadi makmum. Seperti misalnya bapak saya menyukai seorang Hafidz (penghafal Al-Qur’an) yang rumahnya  di samping masjid (entah namanya siapa aku lupa), yang mana bapak saya menganggap hafalan Qur’annya itu sempurna, jarang sekali salah dan sangat fasih dan penuh penghayatan, orangnya juga sangat tawadhu’, sayang anak istri, dll sehingga bapak saya menyukainya, maka bapak saya akan menyuruhnya menggantikan Mbah Damsiri untuk menjadi Imam masjid Serang Kusuma. Tidak salah pilihlah beliau, memang indah, dan sangat bagus menjadi Imam, bapak saya puas, jama’ah pun juga puas diimami olehnya.

Begitulah bapak saya…

Kembali ke cerita sebelumnya. Bapak saya termasuk pinter dalam mendidik anak, karena beliau mendidik dengan cara moderat. Beliau selalu mencontohkan dengan sikap tanpa menghakimi atau terlihat sedang mengajari. Misalnya ketika jamaah sholat Maghrib di rumah, maka beliau akan mencontohkan bagaimana cara sholat yang benar sesuai dengan ilmu yang dipelajarinya dari kitab-kitab maupun dari para gurunya dahulu. Betapa kalau sholat itu harus tuma’ninah, apa itu tuma’ninah? Betapa tuma’ninah itu adalah bersikap tenang di setiap rukun-rukun sholat, mengambil jeda untuk tenang atau diam dan fokus. Betapa kalau sholat itu tak boleh gerak-gerak, baik tangan maupun badan, terutama di saat berdiri setelah ruku’ dan sebelum sujud. Betapa kalau sholat itu harus penuh penghayatan namun santai, bagaimana sikap tangan sewaktu duduk Tasyahud, yaitu menggenggamlah jari-jari tangan kanan kita sebelum jari telunjuk menunjuk ke depan secara lurus. Betapa sebelum sholat anak-anak dan istrinya diajarkan bagaimana cara berdzikir menurutnya (aku pikir, cara berdzikir seperti orang NU pada umumnya adalah cara berdikir yang baik, seperti ajaran Bapak dan para Imam di masjid Batur). Betapa di saat berdoa sendirian atau memimpin suatu doa  baik di mushola rumah atau ketika mendoakan kakek nenek saya, beliau selalu menangis, entah karena apa… beliau orang yang sangat penuh penghayatan. Betapa kalau berdzikir tak cukup hanya beberapa menit, namun berjam-jam. Betapa beliau selalu mencontohkan kepada anak istrinya untuk selalu sholat di awal waktu, karena urusan dunia itu selesai dengan baik karena pertolonganNya. Ini adalah bukti kecintaan Bapak kepada Tuhannya. Semua itu tentang ADAB beribadah kepada Tuhan. Beliau selalu berhasil menempatkan Tuhan di urutan pertama dalam setiap langkahnya, setiap waktunya, setiap jalan pikirnya.

Begitulah bapak saya…

Sehingga saya selalu mengaguminya, selalu teringat akan beliau apalagi di saat sedang jauh, ingin sekali balik ke rumah bertemu Bapak Ibu. Di dekat mereka, seperti sedang didekati Tuhan Yang Rahman dan Rahim.

Pernah saya membeli mie ayam dari seorang mantan karyawan Bapak dulu, beliau berkata “Pak Kanapi niku tiyangipun sabaaarr sanget, mboten wonten ingkang nglawan kesabarane Pak Kanapi niku, mbok wis tenan…” saya yang jadi anaknya hanya bisa terbengong akan kata-kata bapak penjual mie ayam. Segitukah orang lain berpendapat tentang bapak saya? Actually many people adore you, Appa.  Bapak saya adalah manusia biasa, namun bagi saya sangat unik dan mengagumkan, saya sangat bersyukur mempunyai beliau sebagai bapak. Meskipun banyak orang mengakui Bapak saya orangnya “Jaman Dahulu” banget, maksudnya bukan orang modern, beliau cukup tradisional dan bisa dikatakan Gaptek (namun bapak saya masih bisa nyetir mobil dengan ngebut dan telpon-telponan pake HP kok, wkwkwk) dalam banyak hal.

Yang jelas, saya bangga, saya bangga memiliki beliau sebagai Bapak yang luar biasa, tidak pernah kekurangan uang untuk kebutuhan anak-anak dan istrinya karena sangat rajin bekerja sejak kecil sampai umur hampir 60 tahun ini dengan jerih payah sendiri dan tidak tergantung orang tuanya. Beliau seorang entrepreneur yang hebat yang telah banyak memakan asam garam kehidupan bisnis. Beliau amat sangat penolong dan tidak pelit pada mereka yang kesulitan. Selalu mengikhlaskan banyak hartanya agar mereka-mereka hidup tidak kekurangan harta sementara bapak sendiri selalu menerapkan pola hidup sederhana, jarang sekali bermewah-mewah. Mungkin beliau tau, tak ada gunanya bermewah-mewah karena manusia itu rakus dan tak pernah puas. Beliau selalu mensyukuri apa yang dipunyai dan tak pernah merasa kekurangan. Saya percaya tabungan beliau sekarang ini untuk hidup di akhirat di dekat Kekasihnya kelak sudah sangat banyak, amat banyak… entah seberapa, hanya Tuhanlah yang tahu. Beginilah cara saya membanggakannya.

Cara lain saya membanggakannya adalah dengan membuatnya bangga, membuatnya menjadi Bapak nomor satu di dunia, membuatnya menjadi Bapak yang terhebat sedunia, dan selalu mengamalkan apa yang telah beliau ajarkan selama sehidup saya yang singkat ini.

Bapak, doakan anakmu…

Sabtu, 05 November 2011

Ingin

Tuhan, sungguh hamba malu padamu
meskipun segala sesuatu telah hamba lakukan secara sadar
ternyata hamba masih saja bodoh dan bebal
menjauh dari-Mu memang tak bisa dikatakan nikmat sama sekali
Engkau yang mutlak memang sungguh telak
hamba hanya bisa memohon memohon dan memohon
untuk Kau dekati dan membuat hamba mendekati-Mu, selalu.
aamiin

----  Jogja-Klaten
di malam bertakbir   ----

Jumat, 04 November 2011

BCDE-Letter Score, (apa lalu dunia kiamat?)

Hahah.. you gotta be kidding me!
When you get your transcript and find B letter score there, particularly in the subject you’re interested in, how does it feel? Awful, sure.


As for me, I will strike for it till I get A letter score. Score is something makes sense in  instances. It can represent how we are in the term of learning something and how we hang in there. What if I got B in the subject I got into it, it means my performance wasn’t good enough. And I still have capability to stand a show. May be you call me perfectionist. But I’d rather think it’s because I want to present the best performance for the two lovely people, Ayah-Ibu. I will feel ashamed of the result only because I cant be total. Moreover, something you are interested in is a special thing for you, right? Nothing wrong to achieve the best. Not only it can be a gift for the people around but also you’ll be in your glorious moment,  just for a while though.. but you’ve been won!
I do not say this because I’m perfect and an expert in almost all subjects, just to tell you that if you think something needs to be stroked for, so just put up a good fight.


I know, B letter score isn’t as bad as we get C, D, or even E letter score. Many people think the score is just a score, there will be other valuable things to be seen and of course more appreciable.  They think it’s babyish problem, keep complaining and feel sad inside while finding bad score in their report. This theory makes people lazy to fight more. But I can put up with it, whatever floats your boat.


Don’t expect others to appreciate you if you can’t appreciate a good struggle on you.

Kamis, 13 Oktober 2011

Some Words from Bin, too


I think that now is the moment when I'm remembering you so much. You know that my "jejak Bumi" directory had been lost. I can't restore it, and I miss it, because... there were you, my lovely prince ever. I opened another directory, I found only one love letter. Letter that made me want to recall my mind 2 years ago, when we was a new good-example couple. :)
Here it is about Ichi Rittoru No Namida, a-too-lately-founded Dorama. It's created November 3rd, 2009.

Should I speak of my conclusion? Oke, I regard that dorama.
Yea, I got the point that make you love this dorama so much.
Different from other doramas and has made many people carried away by all words of Ikeuchi. What a tearful! What a touchy! But if you rely on me, I didn’t need any handkerchief!! Haha you were wrong. Twice my tears came to drop. Just twice along I kept an eye on Ichi Rittoru No Namida…hehe it was not like your guessing, right? And I just couldn’t imagine when you were starting to cry until this dorama ended up.

So, were you like ux-san said about? No need 5 minutes to make tears coming drop!! weren’t you? Hahaha, nonsense.
Someday, I want to watch other melancholic’s beside you, only you and me, so that I’m going to have more laughter in my life. :D

And when did I have those tearful eyes?
1.        Firstly when Aya was getting meet with Asou in the raindrops, with the bloody knee, on the Higokoushi Bridge, and of course, and always the Konayuki song for back sound. Why was this scene? Because I wonder, “Akhirnya dapat juga kiriman Bumi. Sui bangeeeeeeeeeeeeet! Angin wis berbalik arah, Jati wis menggugurkan daun-daunnya pilm’e lagi tak tonton!”.
And another reason, it reminds me of my senior high school, when you lent me your flash “Apacer”. Then I saw what I saw yesterday. That’s about “Konayuki clips”. Thereafter you said, “someone gave it to me”. And I made a smile to you, but you didn’t see it. And I don’t even know why I wished you aren’t going to see it, never see it. It’s just so sweet to remember that, I guess you do.. also.
2.      Secondly I have those tearful eyes, I have told you before, is on session 8. I don’t know why I started to become sympathy. Felt if only I were Ikeuchi Aya. Moreover, round her oration. She talked openly. I like one quote of her, “How I am right now. I want to like how I am now!”. Because it’s getting more and more difficult when she would see no hope, when she can’t see the path of how she can live, or when she can’t see the small light of hope. For me, it’s hard to say “I’m not giving up”. Yet I know there wouldn’t be if she started to like how she is now. With thankful, someone be easy to live on, even to go forward. Then everything would work miracles.

Heh, in session 8, there’s good sight. You know, a corridor with ‘A – 1’ board above the door of the class when Ikeuchi walked quietly out the school with Okaasan beside her. Then, when she went on to leave her school on a wheelchair and Okaasan-Otousan went by her side. I really like this scene. I guess the corridor wants to reach some rays of sunlight. It’s getting more and more mournful circumstance. :) but that’s beautiful scenery.
It’s just like when I’m having a seat beside my window and feeling the sun of twilight reaches my eyes. I pleased that moment.

About friendship there, you said this dorama has told us how to be really good friends. I suppose yap. But I’m telling you now. In case of me, the situation is getting different now, hhe… there’s no kind of that friendship anymore. Just two or even one person making it’s such a good idea to keep around company. I suppose that kind of friendship is just in my secondary school. Just in that youth.
That’s all, did you get the point? I hope so… hahaha.
Nice, arigatou!
Iie doo ita shimashite

Rabu, 12 Oktober 2011

Honey and The Bee

Don't remind me that some days I'm the windshield  
And other days I'm just a lucky bug As cold iron rails leave old mossy trails Through the countryside
The crow and the bean field Are my best friends, but boy I need a hug
'Cause my heart stops without you  
There's something about you that makes me feel alive
If the green left the grass on the other side I would make like a tree and leave  
But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?
Who knew the other side could be so green?
Don't remind me, I'm a chickadee in love with the sky  
But that's clearly not a lot to crow about  
'Cause when the stars silhouette me, I'm scared they'll forget me and flicker out
I taste honey but I haven't seen the hive  
Yeah, I didn't look, I didn't even try, But still my heart stops without you  
'Cause there's something about you that makes me feel alive
If the green left the grass on the other side I would make like a tree and leave
But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?  
Who knew the other side could be so green?
We are honey and the bee

Backyard of butterflies surrounded me, And I fell in love with you, like bees to honey  
So let's up and leave the weeping to the willow tree, And pour our tears in the sea
I swear there's a lot of vegetables out there that crop up for air , And yet I never thought we were two peas in a pod
'Til you suddenly bloomed, I knew That I'd always love you, oh, I'll always love you too
If the green left the grass on the other side I would make like a tree and leave  
But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?  
Who knew the other side could be so green?
If the green left the grass on the other side I would make like a tree and leave  
But if I reached for your hand, would your eyes get wide?  
Who knew the other side could be so green?
And if I reached for your hand for the rest of my life  
Who knew the other side could be so green?

Owl City

Your Graduation


This day is your great day. Many people told me that graduation will be one of the most impressive moments in one’s life. I keep imagining, it is when the beloved people come and feel satisfied because of you. They keep screaming because of being delightful. They neck to each others, bring you primrose and many gifts. They tell you that they are proud of you and smile, finally you graduate.

Yes, finally you graduated from your tertiary school, STAN. And... Great! Because I wasn’t there, I didn’t come to you and brought much smile which is happiness sign. I'm sorry, dear... I wish you a great and happy day along the graduation. Here, I was thinking of you. I had on the brain of you. My day was mournful because some people keep asking me why I’m not there. Some of my friends asked me to go along with them in having a great lunch in El Kost. But I said that I couldn’t join. This is how I had to go Laboratory and finish my work there. I stired up my self so that my day wasn’t too blue…

Good bye today…

Another phase was ended up. But every stop doesn’t stop at all because this world is spinning around. This world is spherical, right? You are what you choose, you’ve chosen to be civil servant. You know what consistency is. You have such a play role in this drama of life. I do hope, you can make it successful in every step. I wish you can be very useful for others. Your life must be so meaningful for you and for the dearest people around.

HAPPY GRADUATION, CAHYA WISNU ARDI…!! ^^

Kamis, 15 September 2011

From Napi Oppa

It seems I'll do some variations there.. though
But this represents how we're still keeping in touch.
Thank you for every helping hand, Oppa ^^

Senin, 08 Agustus 2011

Tiap Ramadhan

, saya selalu teringat :
1. Guru ngaji saya, almarhumah mbah Salami. Maafkan muridmu ini yang nggak pandai menjaga amanahmu, beri saya syafaatmu..
2. Teman Ngaji saya, mas Affif (sekarang kabarnya dia berada di PP. Al Munawwir, 100 meter dari pondokan KKN saya.. but still I can't reach you.)
3. Mbah Damsiri, Imam masjid Serang Kusuma, Batur, Ceper, yang sudah sepuh tetapi masih sangat bersemangat menjadi Imam masjid, meski sakit mendera beliau menjadi Imam dan terlihat sehat.
4. Kampung Halaman, yang sangat khas suasana yang terbangun di kala Ramadhan, tak kutemukan di tempat lain.
5. Suara-suara yang kuanggap suara surga itu, hanya di langit kampung halamanku.
... namun aku jauh, jauh dari itu semua saat ini. Kembalikan saya :(

Minggu, 31 Juli 2011

Wearing Kimono

Yesterday, Intan and Lawrisa wore me a kimono after have some demos of Yukata. It was so beautiful. Kimono has so many parts so it needed quite long time to wear. We took some pictures after that. Wow, it was like a celebration for my age now. In Japan, a girl of 20 years old should have a celebration because they’re getting mature. That’s why age of 20 is so special in Japan.
And you know what?
You are reading a blog of a girl of 20 years old before that girl become 21 years old tomorrow morning.
Good news : Finally I wore the real  kimono taken from Japan…! =DDD

 edited setting, Hanami.

Rabu, 29 Juni 2011

Secret Garden #5 :: The End



Love perhaps is similar to taking care of a garden. Hoping that in your garden, a beautiful flower will bloom, a cool breeze will blow in the presence of warm sunlight and occasionally a magical shower.
- Gil Ra Im-








Secret Garden #4 :: Kim Joo Won's Love Letter



I’m telling you now, from all of the poor and alienate neighbor, you’re the only person who receive Kim Joo Won’s first and last hand-written letter. So you can be proud of yourself.

The wind blows and shaken the branches this afternoon. I hope that when you read this letter, it is in an afternoon when the wind is blowing, the tree is branches just like this. So I am hoping that you can see what I can see, stand at the window where I’ve stood before. Lie down on the bed that I’ve lain on. Read the books that I’ve read. If I can do it like this… This can be regarded as us being together. Like this, we’ll also look as happy as other couples…

Finally now I think that perhaps the magical spell we are under is a gift from the heavens. So laugh like a person who received an unexpected gift; if you laugh with your heart, I’ll hear that laughter. Because I am more capable person than you think.
So.. shave my beard nicely, and dress in the clothes that I like. With that, let’s say that we are together. Let’s just pretend that we are happy.. just like the other lovers. 
-Kim Joo Won-


Also, He said when he will make their body swap:
“Don’t love anyone else, only think of me and live alone forever.
Don’t walk too close to Choi Woo Young oppa, I’ll be jealous.
This will be the most selfish choice of my life.
This is my prudent decision, you should respect it.
You always try to look cool Gil Ra Im.
So continue being cool in the future.
You will miss me so much.
Saranghae… Saranghanda.”





Secret Garden #3 :: From Yoon Seul



“Woman is no matter how common she is she can be queen. No matter how noble she is, she can be maid. Depending on how she is treated by the man who she loves..” 

“If the distance is too far, run too him.. If it feels like he’s not next to you, then hug him… You know, there is no love that is so simple in this world.”

-Yoon Seul-



Secret Garden #2 :: Confession

:Kim Joo Woon said:
Gil Ra Im, You’d rather die than become the Little Mermaid. So I’m going to be the Little Mermaid. I’m going to stay by your side like I’m not there and then disappear like bubbles. So I’m outright begging you. I’ve thought about it long time. Didn’t you say you don’t have the right to be my Little Mermaid because you don’t love me? So I have to be. What else is there to do? Of course, to come to this acceptance, I’ve gone through the hardest time in my life, but right now, it’s true that I’m completely fretting over you. While you don’t think about me for even five minutes, I’m thinking of you for ridiculously long stretches of time. So I’ll be the Little Mermaid. I didn’t think we end up in hating you.


:Gil Ra Im replied:
In other words you said, regardless of how cozy we get or how deep we may love, ultimately our relationship is to disappear without a trace, right? All you said, it’s all true. But you fool. Where in the world is there a woman who would foster a tender happy love only to disappear like bubbles? No woman in the world begins a love with a designated end. That’s why we can’t be. For us, there’s no solution.

"Why is this really hard for us? Finally I get to do it..." ~ Kim Joo Won grasps Ra Im hands.

Secret Garden #1 :: Fairy Tale Love Story

Monologue of Gil Ra Im:

There are things that are thought of as fantasies merely because they are far away. That is how it is in the world of stars. Just as it is with people who are too beautiful, they disappear easily. In the books I read in curiosity of his sincerity, this is a passage that grabbed my heart for a long time.


I realize now how beautiful of a person he is. Therefore, how far away he is from me. He will disappear someday, too. Just as people who are too beautiful often do.

Monologue of Kim Joo Won:

Alice in wonderland. Like a fairy tale.
A night when the galaxy penetrated the galaxy. A bad young boy stand there. Such trivial melancholy. He walks at the pace of memories.


Alice in wonderland syndrome. There is such a diseas. A mysterious visual confusion, as though looking the wrong way through a magnifying glass, that has you looking into a fairy tale day after day. A curious yet sad syndrome. It’s certain I’m a victim of this syndrome. If that’s not the case, then why the world do all the moments with that woman, who isn’t anything, become a fairy tale?


Alice asked : “will you tell me which way I should go?”
Cheshire Cat replied: “It depends on where you want to go.”
Alice said: “I don’t really care where I go. I want to arrive someplace.”
Cheshire Cat replied: “Then it doesn’t matter which way you go. You have to arrive someplace. If you walk long enough, that is..”