♥

You pushed me to bike, finally you succeded

choosing mangoes for the lady :)

baduy bag -- gift for 20th birthday, sweet.. thank you

"really?"

You're futuristic. ILUSM♥

Thankyou, Swift!

This week, I was head over heels in love with Taylor Swift. I can be an eager singer of Swift’s song right now, trust me. Haha.. Yea, I thank to Taylor Swift because she could set me free from all burdens I felt all of sudden in many times. Through her story-lined love songs as well as narrative story from all albums, I could say right now that she is one of the best story tellers and one of the best song writers especially in love story. I don’t know, but It seems like she wrote those lyrics spontaneously from her brilliant mind and change into intonation by her lovely guitar of course, successfully. That she could be the best story teller is because of the way of singing, she can sing something up and out but not emotionless. Then you can find long-lasting love for marriage or even kids in her songs. Such a book written by a good story writter who the writter can open her mind, that is also Taylor Swift, either her life experiences or just something in her mind, those can be so well written there.

Taylor swift sang my little heart out each day. Recently I knew that Taylor Swift ever made a poem that 3 parchments length when she was an adolescent. It’s so wow! Then her grandfather taught her how to change it into tone poem through guitar. Aahh… that was my dream that I can play guitar properly or even made some poems into turbulent tones. No, I mean regular tones.

I was a bee in one’s bonnet along the week, so I was trying to go out by singing some of Swift’s songs, terribly though… not as sweet as when Swift singing, haha.. (for the notion, Shima’s nanny can hold out to hear my voice along the week! :p).

I’m telling you that I love Speak Now album the most, in spite of Fearless is a cute one. So I had rather sing “Sparks Fly” than “The Best Day” or I’d rather sing “Dear John” than “Hey Stephen”. Here are the songs I sang repeatedly, over and over again… 

• Haunted
• Never Grow Up 
• Sparks Fly 
• Ours 
• Love Story
• Tear Drops on my Guitar
• Speak Now
• Breath (ft. Colbie Cailat)
•  Today was a Fairytale
•  Fifteen
•  Mean
• Dear John
• Better Than Revenge
• Enchanted 
• Back to December
  
  
  Very enjoy listening to those all songs, or if you try to sing them all… even better it would be, as for me it’s not about slacking off, but because this could put my mind to rest.

Never Grow Up - TS

Now, I want to put a cover on ‘Never Grow Up’, one of best Swift's song. Why must Never Grow Up? Firstly, Let’s remember Peter Pan fairytale. A kid who doesn’t want to grow up. Yea, the story revolves around it yet not entirely. When we have our adult age, we want to back to the childhood, and vice versa.

(ah…saya kelaparan, makan dulu yak, habis ini lanjut ke liriknya. Just grab some cookies guys!)

Your little hand's wrapped around my finger
And it's so quiet in the world tonight
Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming
So I tuck you in, turn on your favorite night light
To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret
I'd give all I have, honey
If you could stay like that

(she tells how adorable a kid is. Kids can make you spoiled by their actions, right? Make us want to give everything they want)

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart
And no one will desert you
Just try to never grow up, never grow up

(it’s regretful if those adorable stuffs is being gone when some haven’t been well appreciated yet. All will constantly change as it flows with the time goes by)

You're in the car on the way to the movies
And you're mortified your mom's dropping you off
At 14 there's just so much you can't do
And you can't wait to move out someday and call your own shots
But don't make her drop you off around the block
Remember that she's getting older too
And don't lose the way that you dance around in your pj's getting ready for school

(hey guys, please let our mother take care of us. Help our difficulties in every step we take though it’s our responsibility to break every problem arised. When we are growing up, it will be her best moment to witness her kids aged.)

Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
No one's ever burned you, nothing's ever left you scarred
And even though you want to, just try to never grow up

(Thinking about future is very tiring and dont want to lose the childhood fast)

Take pictures in your mind of your childhood room
Memorize what it sounded like when your dad gets home
Remember the footsteps, remember the words said
And all your little brother's favorite songs
I just realized everything I have is someday gonna be gone
So here I am in my new apartment
In a big city, they just dropped me off
It's so much colder that I thought it would be
So I tuck myself in and turn my night light on

(when we’re finally full grown as we feel at that time, we often recall our mind to the glorious moment in childhood. Remembering that will just make you want to go back in time, which everything we had has finally been gone. As west-adults, they are set free and live separated from their parents. Sure, little different impression from us.)

Wish I'd never grown up
I wish I'd never grown up

Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
I could still be little
Oh I don't wanna grow up, wish I'd never grown up
It could still be simple
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little
Oh darling, don't you ever grow up
Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple
Won't let nobody hurt you
Won't let no one break your heart
And even though you want to, please try to never grow up
Oh, don't you ever grow up
Oh, never grow up, just never grow up

Then it’s just "if youngsters knew and if elders could".

It's You

saat didera kebingungan gimana cara menjalankan si kehidupan...

aku jadi ingat kemarin aku barusan memintaNya sesuatu, dan kini Dia tlh memberikan padaku secara cuma-cuma,

dengan seperti ini..

bila aku tahu bahasaNya, mungkin Dia juga sedang mengajariku, to be powerful.

Terima kasihku padaMu, dear Allah. 

kini aku bisa menangis dengan penuh syukur.

dengan begini, aku tidak lagi merasakan sakit yang mendera lagi

beginikah rasanya disayang oleh-Mu?

terimakasih atas terkabulnya doaku, masih kuusahakan untuk terus ikhlas.

Engkau pasti tahu, aku pun sangat mencintaiMu, dalam hati ini lebih dari apa pun.  

Pak Hanafi Bagi Saya

Saat di rumah, terkadang saat waktu maghrib tiba atau isya’ bapak saya memanggil anak-anaknya untuk melaksanakan ibadah berjamaah di rumah. Meskipun tidak sering, karena seringnya tuh bapak saya ibadah berjamah di masjid Serang Kusuma deket makam Serang Kusuma itu. Mungkin karena ingin mendapatkan pahala yang lebih banyak. Karena biasanya beliau memang selalu pergi ke masjid untuk sholat lima waktu, tak pernah absen. Terkadang kalau Mbah Damsiri sedang gerah atau tidak bisa mengimami maka bapak sayalah yang sering dipercaya untuk menggantikannya. Yang saya tahu, bapak saya itu kurang PD, sehingga ketika ada salah seorang yang dianggapnya dapat menggantikannya maka bapak lebih memilih menjadi makmum. Seperti misalnya bapak saya menyukai seorang Hafidz (penghafal Al-Qur’an) yang rumahnya  di samping masjid (entah namanya siapa aku lupa), yang mana bapak saya menganggap hafalan Qur’annya itu sempurna, jarang sekali salah dan sangat fasih dan penuh penghayatan, orangnya juga sangat tawadhu’, sayang anak istri, dll sehingga bapak saya menyukainya, maka bapak saya akan menyuruhnya menggantikan Mbah Damsiri untuk menjadi Imam masjid Serang Kusuma. Tidak salah pilihlah beliau, memang indah, dan sangat bagus menjadi Imam, bapak saya puas, jama’ah pun juga puas diimami olehnya.

Begitulah bapak saya…

Kembali ke cerita sebelumnya. Bapak saya termasuk pinter dalam mendidik anak, karena beliau mendidik dengan cara moderat. Beliau selalu mencontohkan dengan sikap tanpa menghakimi atau terlihat sedang mengajari. Misalnya ketika jamaah sholat Maghrib di rumah, maka beliau akan mencontohkan bagaimana cara sholat yang benar sesuai dengan ilmu yang dipelajarinya dari kitab-kitab maupun dari para gurunya dahulu. Betapa kalau sholat itu harus tuma’ninah, apa itu tuma’ninah? Betapa tuma’ninah itu adalah bersikap tenang di setiap rukun-rukun sholat, mengambil jeda untuk tenang atau diam dan fokus. Betapa kalau sholat itu tak boleh gerak-gerak, baik tangan maupun badan, terutama di saat berdiri setelah ruku’ dan sebelum sujud. Betapa kalau sholat itu harus penuh penghayatan namun santai, bagaimana sikap tangan sewaktu duduk Tasyahud, yaitu menggenggamlah jari-jari tangan kanan kita sebelum jari telunjuk menunjuk ke depan secara lurus. Betapa sebelum sholat anak-anak dan istrinya diajarkan bagaimana cara berdzikir menurutnya (aku pikir, cara berdzikir seperti orang NU pada umumnya adalah cara berdikir yang baik, seperti ajaran Bapak dan para Imam di masjid Batur). Betapa di saat berdoa sendirian atau memimpin suatu doa  baik di mushola rumah atau ketika mendoakan kakek nenek saya, beliau selalu menangis, entah karena apa… beliau orang yang sangat penuh penghayatan. Betapa kalau berdzikir tak cukup hanya beberapa menit, namun berjam-jam. Betapa beliau selalu mencontohkan kepada anak istrinya untuk selalu sholat di awal waktu, karena urusan dunia itu selesai dengan baik karena pertolonganNya. Ini adalah bukti kecintaan Bapak kepada Tuhannya. Semua itu tentang ADAB beribadah kepada Tuhan. Beliau selalu berhasil menempatkan Tuhan di urutan pertama dalam setiap langkahnya, setiap waktunya, setiap jalan pikirnya.

Begitulah bapak saya…

Sehingga saya selalu mengaguminya, selalu teringat akan beliau apalagi di saat sedang jauh, ingin sekali balik ke rumah bertemu Bapak Ibu. Di dekat mereka, seperti sedang didekati Tuhan Yang Rahman dan Rahim.

Pernah saya membeli mie ayam dari seorang mantan karyawan Bapak dulu, beliau berkata “Pak Kanapi niku tiyangipun sabaaarr sanget, mboten wonten ingkang nglawan kesabarane Pak Kanapi niku, mbok wis tenan…” saya yang jadi anaknya hanya bisa terbengong akan kata-kata bapak penjual mie ayam. Segitukah orang lain berpendapat tentang bapak saya? Actually many people adore you, Appa.  Bapak saya adalah manusia biasa, namun bagi saya sangat unik dan mengagumkan, saya sangat bersyukur mempunyai beliau sebagai bapak. Meskipun banyak orang mengakui Bapak saya orangnya “Jaman Dahulu” banget, maksudnya bukan orang modern, beliau cukup tradisional dan bisa dikatakan Gaptek (namun bapak saya masih bisa nyetir mobil dengan ngebut dan telpon-telponan pake HP kok, wkwkwk) dalam banyak hal.

Yang jelas, saya bangga, saya bangga memiliki beliau sebagai Bapak yang luar biasa, tidak pernah kekurangan uang untuk kebutuhan anak-anak dan istrinya karena sangat rajin bekerja sejak kecil sampai umur hampir 60 tahun ini dengan jerih payah sendiri dan tidak tergantung orang tuanya. Beliau seorang entrepreneur yang hebat yang telah banyak memakan asam garam kehidupan bisnis. Beliau amat sangat penolong dan tidak pelit pada mereka yang kesulitan. Selalu mengikhlaskan banyak hartanya agar mereka-mereka hidup tidak kekurangan harta sementara bapak sendiri selalu menerapkan pola hidup sederhana, jarang sekali bermewah-mewah. Mungkin beliau tau, tak ada gunanya bermewah-mewah karena manusia itu rakus dan tak pernah puas. Beliau selalu mensyukuri apa yang dipunyai dan tak pernah merasa kekurangan. Saya percaya tabungan beliau sekarang ini untuk hidup di akhirat di dekat Kekasihnya kelak sudah sangat banyak, amat banyak… entah seberapa, hanya Tuhanlah yang tahu. Beginilah cara saya membanggakannya.

Cara lain saya membanggakannya adalah dengan membuatnya bangga, membuatnya menjadi Bapak nomor satu di dunia, membuatnya menjadi Bapak yang terhebat sedunia, dan selalu mengamalkan apa yang telah beliau ajarkan selama sehidup saya yang singkat ini.

Bapak, doakan anakmu…

Ingin

Tuhan, sungguh hamba malu padamu

meskipun segala sesuatu telah hamba lakukan secara sadar

ternyata hamba masih saja bodoh dan bebal

menjauh dari-Mu memang tak bisa dikatakan nikmat sama sekali

Engkau yang mutlak memang sungguh telak

hamba hanya bisa memohon memohon dan memohon

untuk Kau dekati dan membuat hamba mendekati-Mu, selalu.

aamiin

----  Jogja-Klaten

di malam bertakbir   ----

BCDE-Letter Score, (apa lalu dunia kiamat?)

Hahah.. you gotta be kidding me!

When you get your transcript and find B letter score there, particularly in the subject you’re interested in, how does it feel? Awful, sure.

As for me, I will strike for it till I get A letter score. Score is something makes sense in  instances. It can represent how we are in the term of learning something and how we hang in there. What if I got B in the subject I got into it, it means my performance wasn’t good enough. And I still have capability to stand a show. May be you call me perfectionist. But I’d rather think it’s because I want to present the best performance for the two lovely people, Ayah-Ibu. I will feel ashamed of the result only because I cant be total. Moreover, something you are interested in is a special thing for you, right? Nothing wrong to achieve the best. Not only it can be a gift for the people around but also you’ll be in your glorious moment,  just for a while though.. but you’ve been won!

I do not say this because I’m perfect and an expert in almost all subjects, just to tell you that if you think something needs to be stroked for, so just put up a good fight.

I know, B letter score isn’t as bad as we get C, D, or even E letter score. Many people think the score is just a score, there will be other valuable things to be seen and of course more appreciable.  They think it’s babyish problem, keep complaining and feel sad inside while finding bad score in their report. This theory makes people lazy to fight more. But I can put up with it, whatever floats your boat.

Don’t expect others to appreciate you if you can’t appreciate a good struggle on you.